Blogging Etiquette – Are We Becoming Too Easily Offended?

“People get addicted to feeling offended all the time because it gives them a high; being self-righteous and morally superior feels good.” Mark Manson


I feel compelled to write a post today about feeling offended in today’s modern world. In the last few weeks I’ve had a few different people become offended by something or other in one of my posts that was misunderstood or looked into way too deeply, and honestly, it’s kind of annoying. There is nothing that I do on my blog or in person which is designed to hurt anyone. If I can’t write freely about the things that I see, think or do out of fear of offending another, then why would I bother writing at all? 

Shhh

There is no censorship here

There is also no malicious intent, so please stop looking so hard for a reason to be offended. Leave the page, don’t give me a like and be done with it. This blog is not public property, and I don’t cater to everybody. I write for me first. I am not making money off of this, and this blog is not putting food in my mouth. I’ve paid for this site so that I might entertain or share my knowledge and experiences to others for free. I also aim to make the world a better place in a variety of ways. In fact most bloggers are writing to entertain for free and it’s not their duty to ensure that you are not offended by their content either. I have a secret for you….

Come closer….

Whisper

“You don’t have to read stuff if it bothers you…” 

Shocked

If you don’t like someone elses blog post, then leave it. If you don’t like another blogger, stop following them. It’s actually that simple. Most of us are not begging for readership, not the good bloggers anyways. We write because we want to or we have something we feel that’s valuable to share with the rest of the world. I blog as a form of therapy, to reveal the truths of life as I see them, and I try to do it all with my principles in mind.

If I ever say or do something that is hurtful for a reason that I’m not aware of, then feel free to enlighten me, but I still reserve the right to disagree if I think it’s silly or hyper-sensitive. With contentious articles in the past I’ve even enlisted the help of proofreaders to help ensure that misunderstanding do not happen! Just don’t act like you have a moral superiority if you’re offended. Show some willpower and self-control, no morally superior person goes around trying to shame the world into something better. They simply lead by example, and in doing so, they influence the rest of the world to elevate their own scruples through compassion and understanding. You have to earn others love and respect to really inspire change in this world. Also, an opinion  isn’t worth much unless you can demonstrate why you’re worth listening to…

Angel2

So, let’s recap, if you see a post that you don’t like and it triggers you;

  1. Leave the post, or look for clarification in a non-judgmental way.
  2. If you are satisfied then be happy and move on.
  3. If the clarification doesn’t satisfy you, then;
  4. Stop following the blogger.

No need for drama, because it’s not necessary unless it’s for a damn good reason. Both in blogging and in the real world… We all need to work on how we react to the stuff that’s going on around us. It’s our job to be mindful and wise with our reactions and prejudices.

“To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.”
― Elbert Hubbard

Monkey

I refuse to tailor my writing to some sort of standard which is accepted by all people. I refuse to only speak about what all people want to hear. I refuse to forego my freedom of speech for individual censorship. Nor should anyone in the blogging community feel they need to walk on eggshells because a select few feel like they own the place. If a blogger were intentionally trying to cause harm to another person, or to a group of people, then that’s another story, I suppose, but I’m not talking about intentional wrongdoing. At the same time, it’s a pretty good general rule to be kind to others when leaving a comment in all circumstances, even when you dislike something…

If you can’t control yourself then there’s a serious need for some self-reflection and a sensitivity check. Just because someone was offended, doesn’t necessarily mean that the one who triggered the offense did anything wrong. Sometimes we become offended by things which have caused us hurt in the past for some reason, and that’s kind of our issue… We can explain ourselves, perhaps shift a perspective and even find some understanding for the future, but perhaps not. What we can’t do is just expect other people to understand us without talking about it.

DogOffended
“…the word Banana is so phallic…”

“Create. Not for the money. Not for the fame. Not for the recognition. But for the pure joy of creating something and sharing it.” ― Ernest Barbaric

I write because writing is therapy. I share because I like to share with others. I like people, even if sometimes they frustrate me. I love this world, even if it’s quite unfair. When I write, I am writing for me and sometimes I also write for others, but what I write about and how I spend my free time doing it is up to me. When it comes to blogging…

  • Support means the world to a person
  • Constructive feedback helps a person to grow
  • Nonconstructive negative feedback or nitpicking is just childish

Lead by example; with the type of honesty, love and compassion that you wish to see in others, because going around reprimanding others for saying, or writing something that you don’t quite like, whether or not it was intended to hurt, is just poor self-control. Most people are good people and not looking to hurt anybody. It’s usually better to give the average person the benefit of the doubt!

CougarAnger

Words and such are becoming offensive at an alarming rate, even when speaking in a matter of fact way with no intention to offend. People need to be able to discuss what is happening, history, things they see or think and to express themselves freely. That is what the freedom of speech is all about, because censorship is authoritarian by nature. Debates exist to contrast differing viewpoints. Claiming moral superiority immediately over something without searching for understanding first, just dismisses the other person and leads to resentment on both sides. Social growth comes from finding understanding between one another and sometimes we will fail to find an understanding, but in that case, we can just move along…

If we begin to actively look for the things which offend us, we can start to find it everywhere. We would be better off to focus on the good if we can, otherwise we’re just causing ourselves more stress than is needed in our lives and that’s not a happy way to live. There’s a way to deal with things respectfully, which leaves both parties with their dignity and ideally, with a better mutual understanding…

What do you think? Feel free to share your thoughts down below.

 

 

 

 

 

 

60 thoughts on “Blogging Etiquette – Are We Becoming Too Easily Offended?

  1. I love this post You said about everything. I remember an old saying I learned from my Father “For Every finger you point, there are usually Three pointing back. sometimes it is nothing you or anyone else wrote but the conviction alarm sounding, that something with the person that needs to change. It is always easier for a person to be offended and point out the faults of the person that triggered the conviction, then to change what’s gnawing at their gut so to speak . I enjoy your blogs and you have opened my eyes, to a lot of things I am working to change with in my self. I also want to say thank to V & you for being an inspiration in writing a current project, I’m writing. Keep writing exactly the way you are.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks so much man. That means a lot to me and I’m really happy that you’re experiencing some growth in your personal life. I’m certainly still trying to grow in many areas of my own and I’m glad to have you along on this journey. Take care and I wish you all the best! Thanks for sharing here 😊

      Like

  2. Seems like an accurate analysis of some societies today. But I misread somewhere, happens a lot to me, I red: “we should go looking for the things offered to us”. Sounds better to me than all the things that can possibly offends us. The person being offended (and the person is in this case even an unknown person) needs to look inside. “A whole world opens up when you realize things aren’t that personal.”

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Hi
    You are right, people get offended easily. We speak about tolerence and giving others opinion space and equal respect. But all we do is speak in words not in action.
    Constructive criticism are no more welcomed. What is disliked is widely disrespected. Sometime i don’t speak freely because my dissent may offend some people, though i don’t intend. But we all have the right of expression. Every constitution in the world recognise it. But many of us don’t understand that expression is not only related to expressing oneself but it also relate to others to let one express freely withiut any fear of intimidation, make environment condusive for opinion to grow in full fledge thought. Let every mind speak fearlessly, freely.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. so feeling offended gives a high? seriously? and why would they feel offended by your posts?
    keep on being honest and opiniated. the world doesnt like lukewarm positions! you always manage to inspire me when i read your posts!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Well if you’re offended, in ways it makes you feel better than someone else. I’ve had one person be offended by an image because they looked too far into it and another was offended simply because I mentioned a topic which triggered them. Both were terrible reasons to be offended.

      I’m glad you commented! Will you please reach out to me on my contact form? I want to ask you something via email if you dont mind!

      Like

  5. Amen! When I started blogging on here in 2014 there seemed to be a general understanding of “if you don’t like a blog move on.” Obviously there were exceptions, always will be, but lately things seem to be getting worse. Folks appear to be more sensitive and combative people are crawling out of the woodwork. As we discussed on my blog, just because we publish stuff on the internet doesn’t mean it is public domain.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. I certainly think that’s part of it. I think another component is that we have grown accustomed to not treating people on the internet like people. The most vile things are said on here, but those same folks would never dare to do that in person. We just accept it as “oh it’s just the internet, it’s not real.” But we forget we are talking to real people. Basically, we’ve become desensitized.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. 🙂 Nicely stated, Mathew.
    The way I see it is that everyone is entitled to their opinion and not everyone is going to agree with each other one hundred percent of the time.
    In my case, I am not going to unfollow someone because I disagreed with what they posted.
    Blogs posts are a form of self-expression (And, it would be unfair of me to stifle their self-expression).
    From a realistic point of view, people’s oversensitivity issues are theirs and not yours.
    They just have not healed as yet from their mental trauma.
    Also, human beings are supposed to be responsible for their own emotional well-being.

    Liked by 4 people

  7. This is something that I’ve noticed in the past couple of years and it makes me sad. People on all sorts of social media are feeling like they need to walk on eggshells about what they say because they’re afraid of offending someone. It’s the same reason why our politicians pander to their base instead of putting forth innovative ideas that may just offend a select few. Our constant need of policing one another’s speech needs to end if we’re ever going to make our way back to constructive debates and the sharing of ideas.
    Great post as always, Mathew! ✌️

    Liked by 3 people

  8. At the jolly age of 68 I have spent most of my life being annoyed or offended at someone or other (My wife reckons when I was born they said to my Mother & Father ‘congratulations you have a grumpy old man’) and am pretty expert at known what is an opinion and what is said in offense.
    I have read your work Mathew, and can assure you, you are simply expressing your opinions and views. Offence is always bracketed by direct personal attacks or sweeping generalisations meant to hurt or degrade a person, they are also accompanied by a stunning ignorance of a situation.
    It is very rare to find folk who agree on everything, and it is very common to find that folk who are close on many things but will have one or two subjects they learn to steer clear of because they are at polar opposites and value their relationship far more.
    You keep on keeping on.
    Best wishes

    Liked by 3 people

  9. I completely agree with you. We have to be so censored in real life and to me, that is not what writing is about at all. The freedom, the rawness, and writing the words that remain unspoken, is the most beautiful thing. It should be embraced, not judged because we all seek to escape the harsh realities and negativity that has silenced us for so long. Follow the words of your heart, mind & soul, and continue to share it all, unapologetically because it is truly beautiful to read xoxo

    Liked by 3 people

  10. Love this Mat! ❤️ From my personal perspective of LOVE, Love is about celebrating who we are authentically and likewise celebrating who others are (and not imposing our “truths” on them) I value mutual respect, compassion, and understanding…. our shared world is actually a reflection of humanity …. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I mean the ones that don’t like blogs just don’t understand writing
    And the ones that criticise it are just doubtful about their own
    So don’t let it affect you coz word press may have these few fools but all of us are very much here to support you ☃️

    Liked by 2 people

  12. I feel you, bro. There’s so much drama where there needn’t be. The older I get, the more protective I am of the energy I expend, maybe because I used to be offended and hurt so easily when I was younger. I now see that so much of my pain and suffering over perceived slights was self-inflicted, unnecessary and often misplaced.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. I agree with just moving on from a blog post that you find offensive. As Kari Anne noted, I don’t want to expend the psychic energy. I think it’s good advice. I wonder, though, if the people who need it most will actually heed it.

    My other comment is that you mentioned several times that you write your blog as therapy (and you’re not alone in that). What’s interesting to me is that when I took composition theory lo these many years ago, a distinction was made between writer-based prose and reader-based prose and how to move students from writer-based prose, when they’re just writing for themselves to reader-based prose, when they’re writing for other people. I think blogging as a writing genre has blurred this distinction. I’ll sign off by saying that I find thinking about “the blog” as a literary genre endless fascinating.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Agreed…

      Yes it is a strange blend because you can mix it in so many ways between pieces which are written for you, but also for others…

      On a blog you can write for yourself and have an effect on others if you’re open enough to be that vulnerable. It’s personal, revealing, or it can be mysterious and concealing. You’re right. It’s a pretty interesting platform.

      Like

  14. well said; I agree that people get offended a little too easily these days. And by the way, for anybody that is planning to stop following Mat’s blog, feel free to start following mine. It may not offend you, but there’s a chance it could put you to sleep 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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