“People get addicted to feeling offended all the time because it gives them a high; being self-righteous and morally superior feels good.” –
I feel compelled to write a post today about feeling offended in today’s modern world. In the last few weeks I’ve had a few different people become offended by something or other in one of my posts that was misunderstood or looked into way too deeply, and honestly, it’s kind of annoying. There is nothing that I do on my blog or in person which is designed to hurt anyone. If I can’t write freely about the things that I see, think or do out of fear of offending another, then why would I bother writing at all?
There is no censorship here
There is also no malicious intent, so please stop looking so hard for a reason to be offended. Leave the page, don’t give me a like and be done with it. This blog is not public property, and I don’t cater to everybody. I write for me first. I am not making money off of this, and this blog is not putting food in my mouth. I’ve paid for this site so that I might entertain or share my knowledge and experiences to others for free. I also aim to make the world a better place in a variety of ways. In fact most bloggers are writing to entertain for free and it’s not their duty to ensure that you are not offended by their content either. I have a secret for you….
“You don’t have to read stuff if it bothers you…”
If you don’t like someone elses blog post, then leave it. If you don’t like another blogger, stop following them. It’s actually that simple. Most of us are not begging for readership, not the good bloggers anyways. We write because we want to or we have something we feel that’s valuable to share with the rest of the world. I blog as a form of therapy, to reveal the truths of life as I see them, and I try to do it all with my principles in mind.
If I ever say or do something that is hurtful for a reason that I’m not aware of, then feel free to enlighten me, but I still reserve the right to disagree if I think it’s silly or hyper-sensitive. With contentious articles in the past I’ve even enlisted the help of proofreaders to help ensure that misunderstanding do not happen! Just don’t act like you have a moral superiority if you’re offended. Show some willpower and self-control, no morally superior person goes around trying to shame the world into something better. They simply lead by example, and in doing so, they influence the rest of the world to elevate their own scruples through compassion and understanding. You have to earn others love and respect to really inspire change in this world. Also, an opinion isn’t worth much unless you can demonstrate why you’re worth listening to…
So, let’s recap, if you see a post that you don’t like and it triggers you;
- Leave the post, or look for clarification in a non-judgmental way.
- If you are satisfied then be happy and move on.
- If the clarification doesn’t satisfy you, then;
- Stop following the blogger.
No need for drama, because it’s not necessary unless it’s for a damn good reason. Both in blogging and in the real world… We all need to work on how we react to the stuff that’s going on around us. It’s our job to be mindful and wise with our reactions and prejudices.
“To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.”
I refuse to tailor my writing to some sort of standard which is accepted by all people. I refuse to only speak about what all people want to hear. I refuse to forego my freedom of speech for individual censorship. Nor should anyone in the blogging community feel they need to walk on eggshells because a select few feel like they own the place. If a blogger were intentionally trying to cause harm to another person, or to a group of people, then that’s another story, I suppose, but I’m not talking about intentional wrongdoing. At the same time, it’s a pretty good general rule to be kind to others when leaving a comment in all circumstances, even when you dislike something…
If you can’t control yourself then there’s a serious need for some self-reflection and a sensitivity check. Just because someone was offended, doesn’t necessarily mean that the one who triggered the offense did anything wrong. Sometimes we become offended by things which have caused us hurt in the past for some reason, and that’s kind of our issue… We can explain ourselves, perhaps shift a perspective and even find some understanding for the future, but perhaps not. What we can’t do is just expect other people to understand us without talking about it.
“Create. Not for the money. Not for the fame. Not for the recognition. But for the pure joy of creating something and sharing it.” ―
I write because writing is therapy. I share because I like to share with others. I like people, even if sometimes they frustrate me. I love this world, even if it’s quite unfair. When I write, I am writing for me and sometimes I also write for others, but what I write about and how I spend my free time doing it is up to me. When it comes to blogging…
- Support means the world to a person
- Constructive feedback helps a person to grow
- Nonconstructive negative feedback or nitpicking is just childish
Lead by example; with the type of honesty, love and compassion that you wish to see in others, because going around reprimanding others for saying, or writing something that you don’t quite like, whether or not it was intended to hurt, is just poor self-control. Most people are good people and not looking to hurt anybody. It’s usually better to give the average person the benefit of the doubt!
Words and such are becoming offensive at an alarming rate, even when speaking in a matter of fact way with no intention to offend. People need to be able to discuss what is happening, history, things they see or think and to express themselves freely. That is what the freedom of speech is all about, because censorship is authoritarian by nature. Debates exist to contrast differing viewpoints. Claiming moral superiority immediately over something without searching for understanding first, just dismisses the other person and leads to resentment on both sides. Social growth comes from finding understanding between one another and sometimes we will fail to find an understanding, but in that case, we can just move along…
If we begin to actively look for the things which offend us, we can start to find it everywhere. We would be better off to focus on the good if we can, otherwise we’re just causing ourselves more stress than is needed in our lives and that’s not a happy way to live. There’s a way to deal with things respectfully, which leaves both parties with their dignity and ideally, with a better mutual understanding…
What do you think? Feel free to share your thoughts down below.