Improve Your Blog While Minimizing Blog Suckage

“I love the way people talk crap. I hear it all the time. ‘Overrated.’ ‘You suck.’ I’ll just do something to shut them up, like, ‘I’ll show you.” – Bryce Harper


A How-to Guide for Minimal Suckage

Howdy, today we’re talking about blogging and not just blogging, but sucky blogging. Not only sucky blogging, but we are going to fix these mistakes on a sucky blog so we can all suck much less. We all have the power in us to achieve minimal suckage, we just need to channel that power properly, and give those suck muscles a break.


Chapter 1 – Make it Not Boring

Boring

Lesson number one to de-suck a blog, you have to make it not boring. Give the reader some variety. Be creative. Try something new that all of the other bloggers out there aren’t already doing.

Don’t bother asking yourself questions like:

  • “What makes my blog different?”
  • “What makes my blog standout?”
  • “How can I make things more exciting?”

These are all fantastic questions to ask yourself if you’re trying to improve your site, but we’re looking to minimize suckage… So, how can our blog’s suck less?

  • Does your blog have a sucky boring text font, a sucky drab background and sucky pictures?
  • Is the header of your blog “JohnSmithsBlog” or “MoistMoistMoist”?
  • Do your posts consist of mostly low-effort write-ups and direct links or quotations of other things you’ve found on the internet?
  • Are your posts other people’s original work?
  • Is it boring stuff like how your newspaper is usually on your porch every Tuesday, but this Tuesday it wasn’t, and now you have nothing to read with your tea?

Oh man… Just talking about it is making my suck meter go crazy!!!

Suckmeter
“Maximum Suckage”

Chapter 2 – Don’t Suck as a Human

No one likes to hear this one but if you want to de-suck your blog then you’re going to have to de-suck yourself… Was that poor wording? …Not in a sexual way you perverts, but who’s that flexible anyways? 

What I actually meant by de-suck yourself, is don’t be the type of person that people don’t want to know. If your blog has been created as a platform for you to spread your hate agenda, to belittle minorities or to virtually suck yourself by bragging about your sweet life (again, not sexually, of course)

Stretch

That would make your blog a little bit sucky… Because you are your blog! Your blog is you! And your blog is here to serve others in some way. What are your readers gaining by reading your blog? How is it improving their lives in some way?

Just remember, if you’re a genuinely kind person and your blog is not receiving the attention that it deserves. It doesn’t mean you suck as a human, some other part of your blog might just need some more refining. These things take time, and we all want to see you succeed. 😀

Let’s end this chapter before I cross a line accidentally…


Chapter 3 – Don’t Make your Blog Suck to Navigate

This one definitely takes the cake for most popular blog suckage technique, some blogs seem to just thrive on suckage! But, by thrive, I don’t mean thrive… They wallow in it.

When you’re new to the game it’s going to take you a few months to pick up the way of things and to create something that works for you, but if you’ve been blogging for multiple months and a new user can’t figure out how to access your blog posts within 15 seconds of being on your homepage; well then, your blog sucks. Maybe not everything about your blog sucks, but the navigation of your blog sucks.

Try to access your website in the same way that a new user might, straight to your homepage, pretend you’ve never been to your blog before and then ask yourself honestly:

  • How easy is it to find your latest blog posts?
  • Are your most important blog posts easily accessible?
  • Do you have lots of posts with no search bar?
  • Do you lack categories, but post about a variety of things?
  • How can can things become simpler while minimizing suckage?
Map
“The Blog Posts should be around here, somewhere…”

Chapter 4 – Don’t Close Yourself Off to Human Interaction

One of the suckiest things you can do with your blog is to keep your comments closed entirely. I understand that some professional looking publications do this on WordPress, but it’s not going to work for the average blogger who will be relying on human interaction to gain repeat visitors.

What is a blog exactly, if there’s no human interaction? Blogging is all about interacting with other people, otherwise you’ve really just created a sad lonely journal made available for all to see. I understand that some people might have anxieties about others saying something hurtful or it might seem scary to invite strangers to comment on your words, but I’m telling you now… most bloggers are good people or at least try to be on this platform, and there’s no need to worry about the ones who have already fully maximized their blog suckage.

There’s always the option to moderate your comments as well, like many do (I do). This gives you the added benefit of controlling the comments which are being allowed on to your blog. So no public shaming of your blog can happen because some guy didn’t like your opinion that the ending of Lost seemed written by a guy who puked up Alphagetti and turned it into a script .

Lost


Chapter 5 – Check your Spelling for Suckage

Somthing that cen really bug a serius writer is when your spelling sucks (or your grammar)! Most computers now-days come with handy dandy programs that perform a set of anti-suckage analytics on your spelling and grammar for free! So, there’s no good reason to let too many mistakes slip through into your final draft. Occasionally, you will notice a few typos, even on the best blogs, but it shouldn’t become the norm.

Want to expand your vocabulary? Easy, start looking up the definitions of words you don’t know. Want to get better at spelling things right? Use auto-correct and watch for your mistakes. I have noticed that sometimes the “WordPress” generic auto-corrector doesn’t label legitimate words as being legitimate. Third-party apps like grammarly seem to do a far better job of working as a grammar and spellchecker, but it all works to your advantage. When in doubt, Google.

“Why do they call it a spelling bee?”

Bee
“Bee-cause bad spelling sucks!”

Chapter 6 – Don’t Blog If It’s Not Fun

If your blog is feeling kind of sucky, then there’s a good chance that you’re having no fun writing on it. The funny thing about writing, which I’ve discovered over time, is that the emotions that you’re feeling inside are conveyed through your words and your voice.

Sometimes when people say to an author, “I really like your writing” or “I like your voice”, what they are really saying is that they appreciate the way his or her mind works! For writing is just another way of expressing language. Letters mean nothing. Alone, words mean nothing. It’s putting them all together in a certain pattern which expresses a thought or an emotion, and which creates a reading experience for your viewers.

When we are feeling happy or sad or confident or disheartened, it comes through in our writing. It’s unavoidable. We are our words! If you do end up writing while in a bad mood, edit it again the next morning and try to balance your projected emotions. It happens.

Beyond that, there are little things we can do with our writing to make it more fun for ourselves and our readers. We can write about what we enjoy the most, our interests and passions. When we get bored of what we normally write about, we can start writing about something new. Don’t listen to most blogging gurus telling you that you need to fit inside a genre box. You don’t have to. If we become tired of blogging, we can take a break from it and gather ideas. We can write things which we find funny, and if others find it funny too, great! If they don’t, oh well, at least you made yourself laugh and you learned something…

DogStick
…Your joke has maximal suckage…

Chapter 7 – Don’t Quit, It’s a Learning Experience

No matter where you are right now in your blogging experience, as long as you’re looking for ways to enhance your blog, then you also have the ability to do just that. Nothing wonderful is ever created instantaneously, or at least very few things in life are…

Strong

There are also very few things in life which are beyond our ability to change or improve. Sorry to get all meta on you here, but this applies to every single aspect of your life. I firmly believe that when faced with obstacles of almost any variety, we can improve our circumstances with the right positive attitude and a persistence in overcoming said obstacles. If everyone was born being awesome, than life would be quite boring and no one would stand out. The beauty of life lay in the possibilities and manipulating growth to become awesome.

Sometimes we just need to try to keep our emotions out of it, take a step back and figure out exactly where we are sucking the most and then work our asses off to minimize that suckage while maximizing our strengths! That’s the secret!

Know any other secrets for minimizing blog suckage?

Leave your thoughts and comments down below!

65 thoughts on “Improve Your Blog While Minimizing Blog Suckage

  1. Great tips and so straightforward, I love that.. I loved when u said “let’s close this chapter before I accidentally cross the line” lol it made me laugh.
    To me frankly, blogging is no different then any type of writing. What goes well for a book goes also for blogging. If you don’t mind, I would add a tip: reading! To me is the essential fuel of writing and it doesn’t go without it. Thank you for this post ❤😊

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Reading is certainly essential to being a good writer, otherwise your use of language can get a bit rusty and stale. Reading other people’s writing is also very inspirational. Thanks for your comment 🙂
      I’m glad I tickled your funny bone and you’re welcome. :D<3

      Liked by 1 person

  2. “Is the header of your blog “JohnSmithsBlog” or “MoistMoistMoist”?” That made me laugh 🙂 Fun read and good points. I don’t know if this counts as suckage but when a blogger posts multiple times throughout the day, really when my feed is inundated with posts from just one blogger, I stop following the blogger. I understand the notion of being consistent to stay relevant but I think you can overdo it. Especially if the content is just a picture from the computer.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Good tips! I can’t stand blogs that puke up links to the news. I can find CNN on my own. And I’m not that thrilled with preachy Hallmark dreck either (“Smile! Life is wonderful!” Gak.) I want to read original, creative content.

    But I don’t care much about a blog’s look, layout, fonts, etc. because I read posts in the app and rarely see any of that.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Too many people say “This is the way blogging is” just because it’s the way most people approach it, but it’s certainly not the only way to create a good blog! It’s just a template of sorts. Except templates don’t usually stand out. So, I think it’s good to push the norms and what’s “usual” sometimes 🙂

      We all just need to find what works for us and it took me a LONG time to find what worked for me. Do you fit into a niche?

      Like

      1. No . I dont. There is so much that I like to write about
        At least 4 or 5 categories and so many people say that it is very important to niche down to one or max two topics
        So I call myself a lifestyle blogger and continue to post whatever I want.

        Liked by 2 people

    1. I’ve actually hit a funk myself Pete. Considering taking a break for the rest of October so I can focus on finding a job, preparing some posts for next month and starting my novel.
      Blogging takes a lot of effort and it doesn’t pay so do whatever you need to do with it, I say!
      You’re already working on a sequel eh?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh yes, in fact the first draft is done and I’ve already edited it once myself! I’m just waiting on a couple beta readers to provide feedback before slogging on again. In the interim I think maybe I’ll get a jump on the third book, too!

        Liked by 2 people

  4. Oh my gosh Loved this post so much. I had to hit the like button 2 paragraphs in. So high five to that. I am new to blogging. I always have loved writing though and once I started a Blogger profile but it wasn’t as cool as word press tools etc and I didn’t stick to it. I am determined to learn more, not give up and to make sure that I limit my suckage bahaha perfect post. Thanks so much for all the advice.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hahah… I’m glad you found it so amusing. I was having quite a bit of fun writing it, and laughing, so I was hoping others would too. I’m glad you decided to try this place out. Blogging is fun a lot of the time, can be stressful if you use it too much but that’s just like any other social media.

      I wish you all the best, I’ll be following 🙂

      Like

      1. Sorry so late with replying, don’t think my notifications were working right.. Or I wasn’t working it right 😂 I do agree with the using it too much may cause stress lol. My mind will get overwhelmed so I’m trying to stay consistent but make sure to have my breaks. I learn this all little by little., 🙌

        Liked by 2 people

      2. I’m not sure I have found it but I just know how I can get at times with other forms of social media. One of my biggest down falls is questioning myself and overthinking. My goal is to start as many drafts as I can when ever I thought pops into my head. Which is all the time 😂but I’ll forget it if I don’t make a draft. This way I hope to have real authenti ideas when I want to make a post. Anyways, you got this Mathew. You will get it all figured out. 😊

        Liked by 2 people

  5. That first paragraph said “sucky blogging” and I was like “what?”
    mental note ask Mathew. I continue and the word repeats every few words and start laughing. You know what, don’t answer because I think I got it 😂

    “MoistMoistMoist” and De-suck… what a lovely words! Mwahahaha 😂 😂 😂

    I don’t know what they will gain, but I hope they smile, laugh or plain and simple feel like it was worth visiting 😉

    Me, despite having borrowed the complete seasons of Lost from a friend, I only manage to watch the first 4 episode of the first season. Don’t even feel curious what’s next or how it ends

    Completely agree on #6 and the rest.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. This was mostly made in jest 😛 Although I drizzled some blogging factoids in there. I agree with you that as long as it made someone laugh then it was worth it 😉

      Glad you laughed. Hope you’ve been well. What’s the weather like over there lately?

      Liked by 1 person

  6. this was a great post; I loved all the advice and humor. On a related note, I was halfway through writing a blog about how I didn’t get my newspaper delivered today – sounds like I should start over with a different idea… 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Excellent and mind-stirring post, Mathew. IMO, a blog should be what the writer wants it to be. However, if one wants to maintain an audience, consideration should be given to the appeal of the content, appearance, and ease of navigation

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh my! How funny, yet spot-on at the same time. One thing I might, if it isn’t been alluded to already is “simply be yourself.” There are enough ‘fakers” out there. Being yourself means we all get to see and hear you. Don’t suck at trying to be someone you’re not. When we allow ourselves to shine through in our blog, it benefits everyone.

    Liked by 1 person

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